The HR Chief of a international corporation decided that he was in danger of becoming too distant from his key staff. So he devised a plan to gain insight into the way the Vice Presidents analyzed problems.

He first called in his VP of Research. The VP came in and sat down. He then asked, “what is 2 + 2?”

The VP thought for a minute, frowned slightly and said, “well, if you mean the quantity of precisely 2.0 added to another exact quantity of like substance measuring 2.0, with no additional chemical or mechanical reactions, then the expected output should be 4.0, on the same schedule and scale, assuming, of course that all measurements are made in accordance with our established procedures and calibrations, the interactions and measurements are performed in strictly controlled settings, and overseen by our own laboratory technicians.”

Slightly troubled, the he said “thank you” and called in the VP of sales. Even before the he hung up the phone, the VP was there, beaming. HR Chief asked the same question, “what is 2 + 2?”

The sales guy smiled broadly and said “You know, I was hoping you would ask that question! Some of our competitors offer products that may or may not deliver the goods when you really need it, but ours is the real thing! I mean, when you need results, we produce! Why, you can just take one 2 like this (holding up one hand) and another 2 like this (holding up the other hand), and just put them together (clapping his hands together) and we’ll give you a 4 every time! If you need reliability, style and elegance, you just can’t do any better than to let us help you increase your bottom line like this!”
The he interrupted, dismissing the VP.

The HR Chief then started to dial up his VP of finance. But before the dialing was complete, the VP was standing there, quietly asking, “what’s up?” He asked, as he did with the other two, “what is 2 + 2?”

The VP of finance paled, and beads of sweat broke out all over his face. He dashed to the door, swung it open suddenly and quickly looked both ways down the hallway. He closed and locked the door, then rushed over to the windows, closing all of the blinds. Then he came back and pulled out a small white tablet. While silently mouthing the words “we should be careful” he scribbled on the tablet SaOx. That VP of finance was promptly ejected from the building.

Then the HR Chief saw Newfie (a recently-graduated e-media marketing and advertising major from the college of Hardnocks) out in the hallway figured that this wasn't going to go anywhere, but thought, "I've got nothing to lose." He interviewed the Newf and quickly asked, "I know you don't have an accountancy background, but can you tell me what two plus two is?"

To which the recent grad replied, "Can you tell me what would you want it to be?"

Fair enough he thought. And almost as an afterthought, he asked the Newf, “What is the secret to success in our industry?’

Newf just gave a humble shrug. “I’m sure you all know the cardinal rules: have an MBA education, know your product; make lots of calls; never take no for an answer. But, honestly, when it comes to customers and clients, I owe my success to consistently missing a three-foot putt by three inches.”

The CEO thought it might be best for the Newf to provide a solid example of what it meant to watch out for the clients and the firm. He dismissed him, asking him not to return until he could provide firm documentation supporting his claims of being “service oriented.”

TBC